Its been a while since my last life recently post and finally I’m on volume 09 after many months of figuring out my life. For the past few weeks to be honest, I’ve been squeezing my creative juice so that I can produce good content here on Caramielrush but failed terribly. Saying lack of inspiration is total BS. Is it maybe I got caught up in the millennial age so much? My struggle with publishing good content is just the tip of the iceberg. I have school matters, events and a work that needs to be done. On a daily basis, a lot of things run in my mind – blog ideas, photo ideas, school reports, deadlines and whatnot. Those are some of the things that juggle in my mind as I try to come up with interesting content. As I was losing hope on the subject matter, I lurked in the blog pages of the people I admire for 8 years (and still counting) and realized “I blog because I like sharing stuff online.”
In this day, where ‘aesthetic’ and ‘feed goals’ are the main concern, I think somewhere in between I got lost in the process of wanting to “fit in” and be like the rest of the people. I know having good aesthetic attracts followers and having a single color palette feed is likeable but do I really need to do all those things to gain likes? I’d be lying if i said no, the thing is, like every normal person, I try to follow what’s on trend in the interweb. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that! Minimalist? Tried it! Lifestyle-ish? Done! Nature all the way? I’m on it! Like what I would normally say, “Whatever floats your boat”. The thing is, am I losing my self in this game I started 8 years ago?
The past few months have been a whirlwind of emotions. I’ve been contemplating if I go on hiatus or just let go of blogging. For the lack of words, I got lost. I know something is wrong with me but every time I confront myself, I just brush it off and ignore the problem. Till one day, me and my Mom talked about something that surely made sense. Maybe I did chase the perfect life rather than living the real life. I dont blog to show people I have a perfect life. I blog because I love creating/writing/producing/sharing content even though it’s a good day or a stormy day. It’s really hard. But since this is my first love and safe haven, I just have to remind myself that it’s okay not to be perfect. And promise, I’ll find myself back again! Not now, but definitely soon. 🙂